Together — take advantage of how we’re wired to get results
There’s a lot of togetherness in today’s agile organizations. Working together does bring results. Did you know, though, that seeking social connections are things we humans do naturally? Our brains are wired to connect. Take advantage of this and you’ll more easily delight your coworkers, customers and stakeholders every day.
Social connections are complicated. Not only are we keeping track of ourselves (what we’re doing and thinking), we are also trying to keep track of what others are thinking and doing. It requires high-level thought engaging the brain’s neocortex. Why do we do it? Because humans have evolved over thousands of years to be social. It is one of our fundamental needs, just like food and water — and is just as critical to our survival.
Our brain sends pain signals to the body when our fundamental needs are not met. And like hunger or thirst, being disconnected socially also activates the brain’s pain circuitry — pushing us to get that need for closeness met. When we have social support, our brain decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol and increases the release of the feel-good hormones oxytocin and serotonin.
While we’re born seeking connections, our social development becomes more sophisticated as we mature. By the time we are teenagers, we are able to connect, mentalize and harmonize with others.
Connecting is the need for attachment between parents and children, lovers, friends. Social support, a mother’s voice, or a hug helps us as individuals to grow and thrive. This is a basic need and oxytocin is released when we touch, giving us the feeling that all is right in the world. Oxytocin lowers blood pressure, decreases stress hormones, and increases our sense of trust. And when we are spending nearly one-quarter of our time at work, this feeling of attachment in organizations matters too. It helps keep us engaged and motivated.
Mentalizing comes next, beginning around age 2–3 years old. This is where we are making sense of the thoughts, feelings and intentions of others. We are trying to figure out how to avoid social pain and move towards social pleasure. We do this without thinking about it. Neuroscience research shows that 75% of the time we are not concentrating on solving a particular task or something we have to do, we are thinking about our social relationships or mentalizing. Mentalizing is the brain’s default network — thinking about others is what we do when we stop thinking about the things we need to do. We are social thinkers naturally.
Finally, harmonizing begins in the pre-teen years. This is when we have self-knowledge and the ability to set aside our own thoughts and actions and see things from other’s perspectives. What neuroscience shows is that we are shaped by other’s beliefs and values and we shape others around us.
Yes, humans are wired to connect with others, but what does this mean in terms of our ability to deliver value faster. How can team members and leaders at every level capitalize on what we do naturally?
Think about social well-being to get to high performance
In order to get to high-performance where people in organizations delight customers every day, leaders need to think about the social well-being of their people. Studies show that not paying attention to people’s social well- being is likely to harm team performance and individual team member’s health.
Encouraging strong relationships via face-to-face meetings is the fastest way to build trust. We need to hear people’s voices, see their expressions, read their body language, and have the ability to touch — okay, here I mean, just a pat on the back or a high five, or perhaps a friendly hug. Even just a simple touch releases oxytocin.
Keeping teams together so that the team members are not constantly trying to figure out “friend or foe” (is this person going to help me, or hurt me?) is another way we can increase trust and motivation. When we know where other people are at and we see them as a friend, we can stop mentalizing about them, work across the organization together as one trusted team, and focus on delivering the results.
We also know that leaders and team members need to feel values and express that they value others. What we feel what we do is important — understanding how we benefit others — the neurotransmitter dopamine is released signaling reward or pleasure in the brain. Studies show this also increases our ability to get to better solutions faster.
Create the environment to support the success
As social animals, even the most introverted of us need to feel we belong and build relationships that help us get things done. We can do a lot in the workplace to support this by creating an environment to support it. Making sure that we have the opportunity to talk to each other — share ideas, ask questions. Find meeting space; prioritize time for face-to-face meetings and workshops and encourage each other to get up and walk over and talk to people rather than relying on email for communication.
How we talk about others in our organization, also makes a difference between feeling connected to them or not. Try getting rid of the words “they” and “them”. L. David Marquet, leadership expert and author of Turn the Ship Around! says, “How people talk about their colleagues in their organization has a profound effect on their feeling of togetherness. Simply saying “we” and “us” changes how we think”.
Indeed, the research supports this. In his book Social, Matthew D. Lieberman writes: “Efforts to make the group, actually feel like the group will be rewarded, as the team members start to better identify with the team. This will facilitate the kind of harmonizing that will promote individuals thinking about how they can best serve the team, rather than themselves. As social animals, we are wired to do this, as long as we really identify with the team.” The success of our projects, and delivering value to delight our customers, can be enhanced when we think of our co-workers across all areas of the organization as part of our team.
5 tips to take advantage of our wiring
1. Take time to build relationships across the organization — when we feel we are in this together, we get better results.
2. Thank people, and praise good work — the brain reacts just as well to social rewards as it does to monetary rewards.
3. Make sure people understand the value they will get personally from cooperating with others — cooperation increases the release of dopamine, the brain’s reward neurotransmitter helping us think better.
4. Tell stories about people and the work — stories engage and encourage the release of oxytocin increasing feelings of trust and well-being.
5. Find ways to be more positive — positivity shifts your core view of people and relationships, bringing them closer to you.
This article was written by Jenni Jepsen — a partner at goAgile and an author of the Agile Leadership Mindset survey featured on Comparative Agility.
Gain insights on how to increase motivation and effectiveness — take the Agile Leadership Mindset assessment on Comparative Agility.
